From My Mama’s Kitchen™

Something to think about this Valentine’s Day!

Johnny Tan — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 14:09:25 +0000

With Valentine’s Day coming up this weekend, I reminded of an article my Italian foster mom Carol, shared with me a few years back. I really don’t know who wrote it but the meaning reaches deep into the very essence of what it is really all about to make the right choice in our personal lives.

I would like to share this wonderful article, titled “Is it a Choice or a Chance?” with you and hope that you will get out of it as much as I did when I first read it several years ago.

Is it a Choice or a Chance? - author unknown

When you meet the right person to love, you are at the right place at the right time.
That is a chance.

When you meet someone you are attracted to, that is not a choice. That is a chance.

Being caught up in the moment (and there are many couples who get together like this) is not a choice. That is also a chance.

The difference is what happens afterward. When will you take that infatuation, that crushes, that mind-blowing attraction, to the next level?

This is when sanity kicks in; you sit down and contemplate on whether you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.

If you decide to love a person, even with his/her faults, that is not a chance. That is a choice.

When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that is a choice.

Although you know there are many people out there who are more attractive,  smarter, and richer than your mate is, and yet you decide to love your mate just the same, that is a choice.

Infatuations, crushes, and attractions come to us by chance. However, true love that lasts is truly a choice, a choice that we make.

Regarding soul mates, there is a beautiful movie quote, which I believe is so true: “Fate brings you together, but it’s still up to you to make it happen.”

I believe soul mates do exist, that there is truly someone created for everyone. However, it is still up to us to make the choice if we are going to do something about it or not.

We may meet our soul mate by chance, but loving and staying with our soul mate is still a choice we have to make.

Our challenge in this world is not finding someone perfect to love,  but rather to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly!

…have Hope, have Faith, and most importantly – have the greatest of all – have Love.

To read more recipes for living – please click here to purchase From My Mama’s Kitchen-“food for the soul, recipes for living” book, and help us to make a positive difference in our preferred charities.

Johnny Tan created From My Mama’s Kitchen™ concept to honor his 9 incredible moms who changed his life, and to honor moms everywhere by bringing “motherly love” to the global center stage by recognizing the significant roles mothers play in making a positive difference in our daily lives.
Our weekly From My Mama’s Kitchen Talk Radio Show (FMMK Talk Radio) on Blog Talk Radio also serves as a resource center for mothers everywhere by bringing inspirational, spiritual and motivational stories from our special guests of ordinary moms doing extraordinary things. All shows are archived. Please click here to listen at your leisure.
Thank you for helping us spread this wonderful unconditional gift “Motherly Love” to everyone you know!

A New Year, A New Me, and Perhaps A New You!

Johnny Tan — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 00:47:39 +0000

A New Year to start off a New Decade… very exciting! Although I am looking forward to all the possible opportunities it has to offer, I believe in order for me to truly prepare myself for it, I need to reflect back on last year, and recap all the pluses and minuses, and all the hits and misses in all areas of my life.

My Malaysian mom Nyah, always told me that the day we stop learning is the day we give up on living. This recipe for living is one I always remember on my birthday because it has been a natural occurrence for me to go through a process of rebirth every year, filled with a renewed right spirit, ideas, and enthusiasm.

Every year since ninth grade, on the eve of my birthday, I spend some quiet time in personal reflection on how I have lived my life for the last 12 months. From a simple review of the year’s various hits and misses, to contemplating life-changing experiences, I eventually learned to identify potential opportunities on not only how to live my life, but how to live my life with passion in the upcoming year, by adjusting my thought process and my behavior tendencies.

I also use this same process at the beginning of each year to evaluate past accomplishments before planning for the current year. My Texan Earthly mom Terese, told me a while back about being lucky and being wise. She said, “Luck is the intersection of faith and destiny. The stronger our faith is, the luckier we are. The positive energy we radiate into the universe will always attract like positive energy back to us.”

According to my Progressive and Spiritual mom Elsa Mae, what we give out is what we receive in return. As we are the author of our thoughts, and if we are to receive and be showered with good things and favors in life, we need to be having those positive thoughts throughout our daily lives.

My Italian foster mom Carol, added, “Wisdom, on the other hand, is what we experience when we combine knowledge, understanding, and compassion.”

Over the years whether it is pure chance or divine guidance, I am grateful I have experienced significant increases in both luck and wisdom in all areas of my life by keeping my mind focused on having faith and meditating on enlightenment.

As for 2009, I am thankful to have more pluses than minuses, and more hits than misses. I have certainly learned a great deal from all the minuses and misses while at the same time enjoyed all the pluses and hits.

In a nutshell: Regardless what transpired in the past, there are always lessons to be learned. If we are to ensure ourselves a successful 2010, we need to lead from within, that is - “Respect the past because it will always be a classroom for lessons learned. Be prepared for the future because it is our destiny, and Always live in the now because every moment is a memorable experience.”

The Art of Planning Future Successes

Johnny Tan — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:26:49 +0000

In planning future successes, there is no right or wrong but rather choices made to best address the current situation at hand. Whether there was a lesson to be learned or just another episode of running away from our very own insecurities, only history and hindsight will reveal that to us in due season.

My mom Texan Earthly Terese, used to tell me all the time that, “In planning for future successes in all areas of our lives, always use history and old memories as a reference of where we were, where we had been, and what we had experienced.”

It should always be a point of reference but never a guide. If it is used as a guide then the future never changes. However, if it is used as a point of reference then the future will always be fresh and new, and as we make it to be.

According to my Italian foster mom Carol, occasionally we cannot help ourselves in reminiscing old memories from past events in our lives. Although memories are lovely and should be appreciated, we need to be careful not to start living in the past. While our relationships and the various events were built and took place in certain conditions and on certain expectations, everything changes, including people.

In planning future successes, my Malaysian mom Nyah, taught me that all changes do not have to be abrupt, shocking, or awe-inspiring; rather, it is more about making small shifts that will result in permanent, rooted changes within us.

If we look deep within ourselves, we will find that we, too, are not exempt from experiencing the changes from within. Whether we are moving forward, sideways, or in reverse, we are not immune to changing our opinion, our beliefs, and our take on life. This is because we all have free will to follow what we think is best for ourselves.

Unfortunately, what may be the best for us may not be the best for others, and likewise what may be the best for others may not necessarily be the best for us. Sometimes a person may be labeled selfish when his decision benefits himself; however, we are not privy to the thought process he used to arrive at that decision. No one absolutely knows what is truly in the heart of hearts of that individual. Whether someone fits the label of being selfish or unselfish is ultimately up to the individual person who has to make that tough decision.

To read more recipes for living – please click here to purchase From My Mama’s Kitchen-“food for the soul, recipes for living” book, and help us make a positive difference in our preferred charities.

Creating the Right First Impression

Johnny Tan — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:37:37 +0000

Unless we live underneath a coconut shell, we will always have an opportunity to meet someone new and especially during this holiday season. This reminded me of what my Malaysian mom Nyah told me a long time ago about her role as a mother. She said being a mom is all about making a positive difference in her childrens’ lives. Whether by nature or by instinct I believe all moms have the same tendency to do just that.

Taking this a step further, whenever we encounter someone, we will always affect his or her life in some way. This impact can be verbal or nonverbal. If we are mindful of this, then we can plan to make each impact a positive one.

More often than not, it is the nonverbal impact that gives others their first impression of us. The verbal impact that follows is more of a validation of their first impression, or it will nullify it completely, which sometimes can be bad for us.

The Art of Moving Forward With Our Lives

Johnny Tan — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 14:09:45 +0000

One of the toughest things in our lives is to leave past mistakes and missteps as water under the bridge. We cannot just focus on them while we are thinking about designing our future successes.

If we are to move forward in our professional or personal lives, we have to believe that events of the past were stepping stones and lessons that prepared and helped us to become who we currently are, and have positioned us to be at the right place and at the right time to embark on a new course or journey.

Considered as an angelic person by those who knew her personally, my late Ballroom Instructor mom Betty, was always there for everyone. She was always enthusiastic about life and believed that the glass was never half empty or half full. Rather, the glass always had room to be topped off with something fresh and new.

With this approach of open-mindedness coupled with the strong attitude of anything is possible, we are empowering ourselves to take chances that we might not have otherwise been willing to take. By combining positive thinking and living life with full expectancy, we are now equipped to attempt new things and situations in life.

By staying away from the mantra that everything has to be mastered or conquered, we give ourselves an opportunity to enjoy the process of being in the process, rather than self-inflicting ourselves with the pressure that everything has to be just right and perfect.

Accepting that the world and everyone living in it, including ourselves, are not perfect, we can now shift our energy and attention toward enjoying our daily journey rather than arriving at some elusive utopian destination.

As my late mom Betty, would tell me, “When we acknowledge to ourselves and take ownership of being the author of our life, then perfection and happiness is what we want it to be, rather than what we think others perceive it to be.”

Having Humor in Everything We Do!

Johnny Tan — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:00:04 +0000

During this upcoming holiday season some of us will be meeting new people for the first time and some of us will not necessary be looking forward to meeting the people whom we already knew, but am glad that we will only be in their company once a year.

Regardless whatever situation you are in, have you ever considered that someone’s brilliant one-liner may tickle you more than your funny bone, because it may ignite a tiny spark in your heart? If this is true about you, then you are one of the few people who can truly appreciate and realize that having fun and being funny can lead you to living a very healthy and romantic life.

My mom Cajun mom Ginger, believes that humor is essential in our daily lives because it brings balance and a sense of humility to us when we come face-to-face with challenging situations or demanding people. She says, “With humor we can always look and find the lighter side of things to be positive, regardless of whatever we encounter.”

The choices we make, whether to be serious or to have a touch of humor in anything we do, speak loudly to others about our personality and who we are. How we are perceived by others is how we would be rated by them verbally or nonverbally as to our credibility, trustworthiness, and sense of responsibility.

Although the accuracy of this kind of assessment done by others on us can be questionable; however, if we think about it, we do the same thing. Perhaps not as elaborate or thorough as others might see us, but at the very least we do have an impression of others as to how they view life.

“Home for the Holidays” - A Celebration of the Heart with a Gift from the Soul!

Johnny Tan — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:00:22 +0000

Some of us already realize this, and others will experience it for the first time: The kitchen will be the most important room in the house in the coming weeks.

Regardless of whether it is a modern-day designer’s kitchen or just one of the so-called “timeless” efficiency kitchens, it is time for it to claim center stage, as it will serve as the hub for the transformational loving energy that will bind families and friends alike during this holiday season.

Known as the heart and soul of any home, the kitchen is the place that will serve as a wonderful backdrop where you will always find an abundance of joy and laughter from family and friends reminiscing and sharing meaningful communication, from knowledge gained to lessons learned.

As you already know, you do not have to know how to cook to be drawn into the kitchen as your five senses will eventually draw you straight toward it once the mouth-watering aromas start to fill the air.

My late Southern Belle mom, Eleanora, once eloquently described to me that being in the kitchen is like being a mother; it is about creating something special. It requires patience, a happy attitude, and a touch of love. It is the perfect blending of all these ingredients that ultimately produces a signature dish.

Since we now live in a global village, with the lifestyle to match, where families can only get together during special occasions, the holiday seasons have become more meaningful than ever. Although there are many of us who are fortunate to have a family to spend the holidays with, there are those of us who are less fortunate due to various reasons. We are the ones that, over the years, are able to find home from within our own hearts. Then, there are those among us who are fortunate to have the opportunity to experience the family holiday spirit thanks to the generosity of our friends.

Whatever the situation may be for you, if we can all take a moment to be mindful, perhaps we can truly experience the true holiday spirit as it is meant to be experienced.

For mothers — They cannot wait to have the family back home together to break bread with.

For children — Believe it or not, your mom will always be more excited to see you than you are to see her.

For singles — For those who are fortunate to have the generosity of a friend’s invitation to be with their family, be very thankful for the love you are receiving.

For those who will be by themselves — Always remember that you are never alone. Home is where the heart is, and be very thankful that you have made it this far. Happiness and glee are always generated and experienced from within.

For the families who will be celebrating this holiday season together with their loved ones — I would like to share with you what my Cajun mom, Ginger, told me a long time ago: “The natural life can always be funny and humorous. The most ordinary events usually end up being the sweetest memories. Being present during the small moments will always make us appreciate the happiness when it happens.”

For the families and individuals who have graciously opened their hearts and homes, and to those who are contemplating doing so — I would like to share with you what my German mom, Dianne, told me a few years back: “Every once in a while, a situation may occur that requires us to radiate our energy of positive goodwill, compassion, and love for others. Until we try to put ourselves beyond our comfort zone, we will not realize we have what it takes to make a difference in that person’s life and in ours.”

For those of us who will be spending this holiday season by ourselves — I would like to share with you what my Malaysian mom, Nyah, told me just before I left home to come to the United States: “Since childhood, you have been and will continue to be exposed to all kinds of experiences. Some experiences, good or bad, will stay with you for the rest of your life. However, it is how you manage them that will ultimately determine your idea of success and happiness, or failure and sadness, in your life. Always remember you are never alone, and although food may fill your tummy and the camaraderie of friends gives you a sense of belonging, it is the loving energy you generate from within you that will nourish your mind, body, and soul. This spiritual grounding is what will ultimately touch the heart and move the soul of others.”

Finally, here is my wish to everyone during this holiday season:

Health — makes all things possible.

Wealth — makes all things work.

Love — makes all things beautiful.

May you have all three.

Character-Driven Living

Johnny Tan — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:09:12 +0000

My Malaysian mom Nyah, always said that during the challenging times of our lives is when our character is built, and we are getting stronger from the inside out. Everything has a season. Everything has its time.

My late Southern Belle mom Eleanora, always reminded me over the years that life is not always as smooth as we would like it to be. It is how we step up to face the sudden, unanticipated challenges facing us that truly builds and forges our overall personal character.

If we are aware and mindful enough to allow this to happen, our faith can then lead us to the knowledge that everything is meant to make us better and to build our character in all areas of our lives.

She went on to say, “Our charm and personality may open doors for us; however, it is our character that keeps them open.”

Living a Mindful Life

Johnny Tan — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:04:10 +0000

My late Sanguine Savannahan mom Joni, once told me that each one of us has an outer life and an inner life. The outer life is our public life that everyone can see. It is made up of social interactions, whereas our inner life is made up of our thoughts, our attitudes, and our motives.

Only we know what is going on inside our inner life. Many times we go around pretending or acting one way, yet on the inside we are thinking something totally different. Our hearts and our actions just do not quite line up.

Whether these actions are to mask our own insecurities or worse – hide our sinister motives – nonetheless, we can only fool people some of the time, but not all the time. Since true friendships and relationships are built on openness and honesty, we need to realize and understand that we are looked at from the inside out.

Although it is true that we live essentially a subjective life – where one’s graffiti is another’s artwork, and one’s riveting avant-garde music is another’s noise – ultimately we know from within ourselves the true petition of our hearts in all matters at hand.

If we are just mindful, and find peace and comfort in all of our actions and our behavior in whatever we say or do, then we have performed selflessly for ourselves and, most importantly, for the greater good of others, and that is, karma at its best.

The Synergy of the Heart and the Mind

Johnny Tan — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 23:29:11 +0000

Recently a business associate commented that he has always noticed that whenever I take on a new project I always have a lot of passion to go along with it.

He reminded me of what I learned from my Malaysian mom Nyah, a long time ago. She taught me how to have heart in everything I do. She said that thinking about something is just a simple thought, and it cannot become more than a thought unless it is acted on.

However, to have a vision of success is to have dreams and desires that always come from the heart. Therefore, it always has passion, and when passion is initiated, the mind will follow the heart and will always find a way to fulfill the passion.

In a Nutshell – Thinking is preparing to succeed. Going from thinking to feeling is acting upon an unwavering passionate commitment to make it into a reality.